Love

First off, small tangent. Yesterday, I finally get around to doing this whole new trend on facebook about that one photo of a bunch of people, and you tag which people you think fit the description. I thought it was all good and well, until I get a message this morning when I wake up. Apparently I had hurt one of my dear friends for including her boyfriend/fiance in the picture but not her. I feel like a complete DOUCHE for hurting her. I don't know how to fix it. I didn't mean to not include her.. it's just hard knowing that there are only 28 spots there to tag and I have way over that amount of friends. I just feel bad.

Onto the reason I wrote this blog. See.. I have this bad thing of wanting people that I seemingly can't have. I've had my fair share of heart break and more, but I continue to seek and try to find that person for me. While I may have said it many a times before, and at the time, I probably DID mean it, I honestly think I've found the person that I could spend the rest of my life with. One big downfall: She lives in Holland. Which is approximately a billion miles away. Okay... maybe not THAT many, but you catch the drift. I love her, and she loves me, but the distance is too much for either of us. She doesn't want to hurt me, and even though I try to explain that I am indeed a BIG girl, I understand why she's hesitant. I don't and won't hurt her. I'd rather jump in front of a speeding bus than to hurt her. I want to hop on a plane, fly the 10 hours to get there, and I dunno.. make her fall even more in love with me than she already is? I.. just wish I knew what to do in this situation.



That's her, if any of you had any interest. This blog is.. rather pointless, other than to just get the words onto paper in order to see if I can't figure out what to do. I love her.. and.. that is about all I know these days.